Gays and Married Women Should Wear Burkas

"Did you come to bring us presents??!"

"No little Timmy, I'm here to tell you that you'll be dead before Christmas."

If dressing up as Santa to tell children that they have cancer at the local hospital has taught me anything - it has taught me that disappointments suck. 

With that said, I propose that we do something proactive about the two leading causes of adult disappointment - attractive men that are gay and women that are married/faithful.

Before - "damn I would love to..."

 

After - "Who's that smelly bitch in the sheet?"

I have just saved marriage. 

You're welcome.