Madea is harder than Tyler Perry

"Chief that bomb will go off and kill millions....unless someone can direct a musical while sucking the suspect's dick."

"Call a ho!"
"We have no time!"
"Will you suck this dick for... oh well damn you're just already at it, huh?...shit."

Until the above scene is made verbatim...don't call Tyler Perry's agent.

Alex Cross the movie... Are you fucking serious? Really? The top bad ass male lead in Hollywood is now Madea? Actually not Madea. Indeed, his big ass cross dressing alto ego is more intimidating than Tyler Perry is on his own.




I'm truly disgusted. Forget Idris Elba...was the crackhead off of E. 119th not looking at scripts this season? At least I know he's at least seen a weapon. If Tyler Perry had me at gunpoint I'd open hand slap the shit out of him on principle. The fuck I look like getting stuck up by a guy that dresses like a butch female senior citizen in the name of Jesus?

Not gonna lie. Casting is not my forte so maybe I'm wrong. It's possible that I've just missed the brilliance that is his potential to be an action star. I mean to be able to fake curse at and threaten children despite wearing pounds of fake bosom and dealing with the restrictions of the panties that you wrote into the script for you to put on...that takes skill.

I try to be objective but then I get that ridiculous ass voice in my head saying "good mor-ting - I'm living for the "lort"" and before I can choose my words with the care and sensitivity that I know the situation deserves, I find that I've already said what my soul chose for me to say:

This is some ol' bullshit.

Although I'm impressed that you are a pioneer in making me disbelieve shit about you more and more by the minute (like you playing any role where you're married to a woman - nigga-that's awkward around women -please) stick to pushing the envelope for my grandma and her friends.

So mote it be,

Marc Tullius 





P.S - The entire muslim world is offering billions to get their hands on that one "bold" asshole that made Sex and the City 4: Muhammad's Revenge...so why we are in debt? I'll personally pay for the postage.

 I'm being told that that was not Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie; just a camel. I joke...but seriously though it looks like they got Hot Topic's top designers to design that bitch's face. Slipknot shirt or SJP?

It's like her mom wasn't going to have children and then saw the Wizard of Oz and just got inspired. "I won't stop until I can have a child with command over monkeys."