For example:
- I'm so tired of this nigga assigning this bull. (in reference to old white professor)
- Ah yeah we in this bitch! (in reference to attending church)
- His retarded ass put that text convo about him not being able to get it up on instagram. (In reference to T Legendputting one of the homies E.D. problem on blast. #BluePillProblems)
- Bill Clinton? That's my nigga. (no explanation needed)
I have no problem altering my language but I just need for you to give me alternatives that are just as readily awesome.
2. People Who Bury Time Capsules. So you're just confident that the people of the future want to explore your funky ass shit, huh?
"Drive my flying car to get some space vag? Nah fuck that I want to read about this kid's thoughts about how high school was hard...and look he left his ratty ass moth ball covered letterman too! Neato!"
We have the internet. If anyone wants to know about our time...it's not hard to find sources. Hell just wait for yet another shitty decade party.
"Remember when we lived through the 90s and decided never to wear that shit again? ...let's wear that shit again!"
3. Facebook Broads- so you tooks one fine picture of yourself (it's usually a damn lie) and now you feel like you are to be the most exclusive bitch on facebook. Look here stupid, adding someone as a friend does not equate to sucking them up in a dark alley. Get over yourself or get therapy. It is not normal to get off on seeing how many pending friend requests you have.
Also, being thirsty/desperate/forward on facebook is allowed because when you think about it the whole basis of it is creepy as hell. Don't act like you use it to find lost relatives and not as your own CSI name checker smh.
4. Impersonation - You know how much fun it would be if I could dress up like a surgeon or a cop? I'd have the time of my life! But alas I can't...it's illegal. The very definition of fraud. With that said:
Self-esteem is not meant for unattractive fat women.
You talking about how great you are is fraudulent and your big ass should be thrown in jail. Yeah I know there are places that love big women but I'm from a country where food exists...so umm fuck that.
Stop that shit. I'm tired of tolerating loud overbearing "I know I look good" ass females. Your stupid ass doesn't know shit and should go sit down somewhere. Actually, damn that. Stand your fat ass up. You don't deserve to torture another chair. Do stairs or something. Shit's gross.
I don't care. Yeah I said it...fuck all of you. this self esteem delusion that you have talked yourself into is preventing you from feeling shame and I find that upsetting because I amounted to something in my life as a man just so I can more efficiently publicly disregard you. But no you just think that you're the one bitch who can violate the laws of nature and try to make me look shallow. Fuck I look like. Ha.
Broke lame ass dudes are your speed. in fact you are their punishment for being so broke and lame. Fat women are like distance running. They are the punishment of every other activity given for bad behavior; even though their are a few dumbasses that act as though they enjoy it.
This topic also applies to all of you that dress sexy or talk all that shit and then suck ass in bed. smh. Don't try that shit with me. I will waive my right of silence to tell your dead fish ass about yourself. "Bitch you should've stayed a virgin or look into being a nun. Walk with Jesus broad."
5. Fat People - Oh so you're entitled to just be big as hell without us being able to look or say anything? When the fuck was that deal made?? Stop fucking eating or go outside...at some point. "But I have a gland disorder" Well then I'd advise you to fix that shit or stop acting like you can go anywhere or where anything without judgment. And don't even try to cry about how hard your life is... I don't give a shit about you or your molasses tears.
Don't know if this applies to you? Then it does. Boom, question answered. Better yet go look at the Air Force or Coast Guard's height/weight requirements - if they wouldn't let you join their bullshit ranks to potentially go die then you may be headed down the honey glazed road to gross.
I'm not saying that fat people can't be desirable (they mostly can't) or that they are to be social hermits. I'm just saying quit expecting the rest of us to give you a pass like you have some unfair birth defect. "But I eat to deal with my problems." Bitch, I'd advise you to get less problems. I mean shit...the weight of the world must really be stressing you the fuck out.
If this offends you then you should...well go swim in a t-shirt or crack another tub of animal fat to eat your problems away. Maybe if you eat enough Taco Bell will name their next slop pit after you.
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