If you've been keeping up or took note of the last post there was a dirty hoe bandit out on the prowl "burnin niggas like usher". (Boom triple word play score because he's gay!) Anyway, a friend of mine was unaware as to how he or if he even infected his OCD monogamous Joseph Smith magic underwear wearing broad.
Well after further review the trail of yellow genital wart pus led back to a culprit. Who is it???
Wait for it... wait for it... it was the leaky bitch from the black lagoon! You know the nasty chick who tried to choke out her cobwebbed vagina in public on Sixth Street? Yeah her!
Gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis ("oh my" - Dorothy).Three STDs!!! It's like getting three 777s in a row in a slut machine but with a higher chance of aids. Before discussing that further I just want to stop and give credit where credit is due. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are both nine letters long. I honesty didn't think this remedial ass Eating as a Second Language petri dish bitch had it in her.
Of course "it" meaning the ability to spell...God knows she's had everything else in her. The only bitch on the planet that can fit more fingers inside of her at once is octo-mom: true story. I digress - so yeah despite me wanting to sacrifice my eyesight after seeing that mangled mess - my friend thrusted in his seed deliverer deep into her dark dank bowels; unafraid and unprotected!
Granted, condoms would do little to protect you from a vat of battery acid and are unnecessary in this case. Unnecessary because impregnation can only occur given that said sperm survive long enough to fertilize. Again - a pleasant side effect of stroking what most would consider un-strokable is that upon entry all things immediately give up their will to live. The infectious smell alone curdled the weak like twice digested cat milk...and the stronger of his potential children fared no better. The last surrendered its life as a born again christian sperm before hanging itself with its own tail.
Alas, my friend received the news and he did not falter. In fact, he was not surprised or phased whatsoever. He described it as being a sort of cosmic circle of life - kind of like karma. "I do triflin' things so I can't be mad when a ho does triflin' things too." The council including myself heard his logic and a few solemnly agreed. I...could not.
After a quick search on the CDC website I reported back. "My friend. Your logic cannot be right. I have contacted all that I could in hopes to verify...but you did not invent smallpox, the plague or death itself. Therefore, karma would not have tormented you this way." He said nothing.
I fear even more for my dear cancer surviving friend (has she not been through enough Jesus??) who has to sit in a classroom with this patient zero bitch. Yes. I know. The diseases are contained within the insets of the seeping jowls of her vagi-cave...the very same cave where sadness is born and happiness goes to die. As far as we know she has not birthed an airborne pathogen just yet...but then again we only have science on our side. The true question I have to pose to said friend is - how many layers of hand-me-down torn cotton cloth can shield you from the very ooze that killed the dinosaurs? What makes you stronger than a velociraptor??
All kidding aside... that bitch is gross and I feel bad for everything involved in these stories. My eyes, what once was a functional penis, the fever ridden stubble colored vagi-virus and of course...the children. As we speak a new born is taking his very first breath in a room enshrouded with love. Little does he know that all too soon the day will come when the pus that guides her cravings will grow tired of imitation Mexican food and sperm. Then it will choose to consume the souls and lives of those who won't be strong or fast enough to escape its fanged grasps... Go with God my little friend because surely Hell is a pussy.
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